Page 1 (and it's a long one)

Hiya reader
I'm Joanne, 30, married to a lovely guy David, nurse, trying to make babies, trying to make this sound like something someone else would want to read rather than the annoying whining of a self-obsessed neurotic wierdo. After numerous chat/conversations/world changing opinion expressings with my lovely housemate Alex, his lovely idea was for me to create a blog. Hell knows who's gonna read this, but I can use it for my own personal rantings and ravings, but if someone I don't know picks it up to read it randomly, then hi. I'm not sure where to start, but I'll use a format lent to me from the world of facebook called 25 Notes About Me. I may not put up 25 things, for fear of people getting bored. If you're still here at the end of it... Congratulations, you're already doing better than me!

25 Notes About Me

1. I like linedancing. I'm not ashamed of that fact, it makes me smile and most of the other people that do it smile too. Only thing that pisses me off royally is when I can't get the hang of a particular dance and I resemble something more like a monkey on speed than a graceful yet funky lass tearing up the dancefloor and impressing all around me!

2. I'm married to my brother's best mate. I don't know what made us click, but we do. We have a fantastic relationship which largely consists of us throwing insults at each other in between laughing. People have suggested counselling, they just don't understand the finer points of our relationship. We never mean any of the insults traded, we are best friends and he is the best husband in the world.

3. We have 2 cats, George and Wilbur. George is 3 going on 30, very wise but not too sociable unless she's in the mood. Wilbur is 6 months old and as I'm typing, David is chasing him out from under his feet (which makes me laugh). He is positively thick as shit and loves being babied. George is named after the episode of Bugs Bunny where the Abominable Snowman kidnaps him and says I will kiss you and love you and call you George. Subsequently, George doesn't like kisses, cuddles or love, in fact, try to pick her up and count your fingers afterwards.

4. I am very good at procrastinating, like just now, I should be tidying up and sorting things for work tomorrow, instead I'm doing this. I'm also hoplessly untidy and have the attention span of a gnat.

5. I am very lucky with my friends, Joanna is an old school friend, we bumped into each other 2 years ago (after 6 years of not talking for no reason) and pretty much everything and nothing changed. We grew up, lived very differently to how we used to, but still managed to have as close, if not closer a friendship as before. Ellie is a great lass, living in Croydon who I went to college with, she once held my legs as I vomited out of a 3rd floor window, so as I wouldn't fall out, when I was 17 and very stupid. Kik is my sister in law, closest thing I have to my sister, other than my brother and she is a fabulous woman with a big heart and she's offered her eggs up if fertility problems continue with me and David.

6. I live in a big house in Glasgow that me and David bought when we started trying for a family in the hope that the rooms would soon be filled, how wrong we were. A lesson to those who fell pregnant easily, don't take it for granted. It's not always as easy. We know a young girl, 25 going on 16 who fell pregnant to Korean kid whilst she was in Japan. Right, she doesn't speak Korean, he doesn't speak Japanese or English and is currently working in McDonalds in Tokyo to learn English (somehow, telling you child bacon double cheese burger is a term of endearment). My point is, they managed somehow to make a baby and I find that a teeny tiny bit unfair. I'm glad that when we see her that it's always in a big group because in all honesty, I can't look at her. She has been so irresponsible as to allow this happenstance to occur. When I asked her how her Christmas was, her reply was "Oh my boobs are so heavy". No, I don't think she quite understood the question either.

Ok, I know the title is 25 Things About Me, but David is getting increasingly moody at me so I have to go, but I will continue this in the vague hope someone else will read it.

See you soon, thanks for reading, or not reading as the case may be

Joanne x